Speaker 1: 0:00

You are listening to Making Sense of Work with Jean Balfour.

Speaker 2: 0:12

Hi and welcome to Making Sense of Work. In this episode we're going to explore accountability and the role it can play in helping us to achieve things in our lives and, of course, I'm particularly curious about this in our working lives. It's funny I've come to this topic and seen that it's really not close to my heart. I decided to plan for and record this podcast because it was something I hadn't written or talked or thought about very much, and yet I could see it had such a strong connection to both our work lives and our personal lives. We also, of course, teach about accountability in coach training, because it's such an important part of coaching, of being a coach. In fact, many people often go to coaching to find an accountability partner.

Speaker 2: 1:05

But there's always been something about it that wasn't firing me up. So by the time I finished preparing for this, I actually was fired up. I was fully convinced about the role of accountability and just how helpful and important it is in our personal and our working lives. So this has actually been a really good journey for me, and I'm going to take you on some of the things that I've seen on that journey Because of my own ambivalence about it as part of preparing. I reached out to my community on LinkedIn and Instagram to get their views. I shared openly my ambiguous relationship to accountability and my wondering if I'm a bit accountability avoidant, and I was curious about where others are in relation to it.

Speaker 2: 2:01

It was in this conversation that inspiration started showing up, and thanks to all of you who took the time to respond. What emerged is that 95% of people who responded to the poll experienced accountability as a positive and motivating force, and only a couple of people, me included, thought about it with a bit of dread. So clearly there was room for me to rethink my relationship to the role accountability plays in our lives and perhaps most especially mine. What is my ambivalence to accountability? Why am I so resistant? So I'm going to share some of my thinking, along with some of the practical ways that we can work with accountability for ourselves and how we can support others. As I was exploring my own ambivalence, I started to understand more, and it was really helpful when one person commented about the connection between responsibility and accountability. Responsibility was a feeling of being responsible for delivering something and accountability being responsible for the results, and I got my first insight here.

Speaker 2: 3:18

I have a huge responsibility issue, and I say issue because it's been the topic of my therapy down through the ages. And here's a silly example of how it plays out. Late last year, I was sitting on the terrace of a hotel and I see a ferry in the distance, with smoke billowing from the chimney. Instantly I feel responsible for finding a way to save the ferry. To make this clear, the ferry was a few miles out to sea and there was not much chance of me being able to do anything, but that strong sense of being responsible for rescuing was there. This is ridiculous. After I'd calmed myself down and I saw that the ferry probably always billowed smoke like this this was nothing new, there was no drama and saw that even if it was on fire, there was little I could be responsible for. I could maybe call some services, but I think really anxiety and responsibility got the better of me there. I think another example for me is that I feel so responsible for the success of my business that I push myself to work really hard. I probably don't delegate things that I could. I perhaps do more than I should and probably annoy my colleagues in the process.

Speaker 2: 4:48

And I share these examples because, as I was thinking about accountability, I realized that I personally don't like to be held accountable because I'm overly responsible. I worry that accountability will make things worse, but actually that isn't the case. It's about helping us with the things we're responsible for. And I began to see a window of the power of accountability, I also saw how I find the idea of particularly external accountability to feel a bit patronizing. Now, I know this is unfair, but when someone says would you like me to hold you accountable for that? My instinctive response is don't you trust me to do what I've said I'll do? I'm responsible after all. Of course, the other person is actually doing this to help. They want to help me to do what I think I say that I want to do. It's my problem that's causing the reaction.

Speaker 2: 5:52

But this does pose a question. Are we holding people accountable, particularly at work, because we don't trust them to deliver a job? We don't trust them to deliver a job. By using the term accountability, are we assuming that they are not adult enough to do a good job themselves? I'll share a link in the show notes to a blog by Jim Dethmer from the Conscious Leadership Group where he talks about this. He talks about how holding people accountable can be a form of ineffective leadership. He says when we're holding someone accountable, we're actually doing something to them and we're taking away responsibility instead of having clear agreement so that we know what we're responsible for and we agree to deliver it.

Speaker 2: 6:44

Now, this is all very good. However, my community all want accountability. It seems to serve them well, and maybe we do want someone to help us make sure we'll do something. Maybe it helps us deliver things and we even feel more part of a team in that process of committing to it in public and following up on it later. So I began to think about the places where accountability served me well, and there were many the coaches and therapists I've worked with over the years who have helped me to be accountable for my own growth. They have not let me off the hook. When I've worked with managers I respected and there's a clue there I've felt accountable for delivering results for them. I've had many personal trainers, all of whom are an accountability buddy. I promise things to my team ironically including doing a podcast on accountability which creates an accountability loop. Having promised to do it, I'm now accountable for delivering it. So, whether I like it or not, accountability is really important and it's this process of preparing for this that it's brought it right to the top of my agenda, for this, that it's brought it right to the top of my agenda. So how can we frame accountability to create a positive, motivational way of seeing it, a way of seeking help to achieve things.

Speaker 2: 8:14

Is there a role for our own internal accountability to the self accountability? And what about external accountability? And what role do our partners play? There are some tools that we can use and I'll share some of those and we can think about how to help others with accountability without patronizing them. And I'd like to go from that and talk a bit about this nature of mutuality, the nature of mutuality and accountability, because I think when I'm thinking about it and when I avoid it, I'm imagining a bit of a parent-child approach. I'm the parent or the boss or the coach, and I'll either reward you with a carrot or punish you with a stick if you do or don't do what you're accountable for. I'm assuming that you're a bit childlike and you need me to be a bit parental to do this.

Speaker 2: 9:13

And if we approach it in this way, sometimes fear comes into it, it's connected to it and it stops being, I think, motivation. We're a bit fearful and I think there is a way of thinking about accountability that's not a parent-child exchange. This is where it's more adult-adult, it's where I agree what I'll be responsible and accountable for and you walk with me, you walk alongside me, helping me when I get stuck, when I'm not achieving my goals. You, my accountability partner or buddy in some cases it will be my boss will work with me to help me identify where I'm stuck, help me unblock it and help me to get back on track. So we see it as a helpful mutual exchange to help us to get things done and make changes in our lives. We see ourselves as adults together in the process If we see it in this way, as accountability buddies, if you like.

Speaker 2: 10:16

Even in the manager-employee relationship this works well. We can coach to help a person identify how they're going to achieve their goals and we can jointly agree the measures and accountability process for tracking against those measures. Against those measures, for example, if I ask you how do you want to approach accountability on this, you can say can we touch base once a week so that I can share progress and we can identify next step? This may also help with the clear link to procrastination. We often procrastinate when we're either not confident about doing something or it's really not a good fit for us, and I will put a link in the show notes to a previous episode I've done on procrastination. It may also be that sometimes we're being held accountable for things that we really, really hate doing, and we need that to happen, and maybe it's the only way to motivate ourselves to do something is to know that we'll let someone else down. Now I think, just as a little aside, if that's happening, it's actually good for us to look and see how many areas of our working life we are not happy in and need this external accountability for, because this may be pointing to things about our role that are not a good fit for us and that if we need too much external accountability, maybe there's some changes that we need to make.

Speaker 2: 11:44

As I was going through this, I wanted to define it so that I could think about how can I be more effective working with it, and I found myself going back to the International Coaching Federation competencies. We use these in the coach training and I found them particularly relevant to this because they describe specific actions. In this case, they're describing these actions for coaches, but we can use them in any setting. What they say is that the coach partners with the client to design goals, actions and accountability measures that integrate and expand new learning, and they go on to say that the coach supports and acknowledges the client's autonomy in this, in the design of those goals, actions and methods of accountability. So when we think about it like this, accountability really isn't parent-child. It's really about a mutual exchange of how can I design the things that I need to do, how can I work out how I'm going to do them and how I want to be held accountable.

Speaker 2: 12:49

There's also in this, I think, this community aspect to accountability. We're in this together. We're creating a shared sense of achievement. So if I walk alongside someone whilst they're working towards something, when they achieve it or they finish it, we both get to celebrate. It's in this collaboration that we both gain a sense of meaning and purpose. When we work with an accountability buddy, they can help us, especially with those things that we don't want to do or that we might procrastinate on. They can help us to find ways to connect those to our values or to how our future selves might be grateful we did them. For example, I really procrastinate doing my accounts, but I do have the value of not letting my accountant down, and so I do get them on time done on time, even though I'm very resistant. So let's explore how we can work with it in a way that's a bit bigger than ticking boxes or checking up on people and see how we can work with it in a way that's supporting people to take meaningful action, including ourselves, and to make real progress towards what matters most, and what follows are some frameworks and tools that you might find helpful and, at the risk of becoming a bit theoretical here, there is a stages of change model, which I think is really helpful. A stages of change model, which I think is really helpful.

Speaker 2: 14:18

Prochaska and DiClemente describe how there were five levels of readiness for change or action, and they help us identify how we can help ourselves or others with accountability. The first of these is pre-contemplation. This is where we may not even see the need for change or the need for action for things that we need to be doing. For example, the doctors told me that if I don't change my diet, there will be consequences in a few years, or my manager said that my performance is slipping and there's a need for change, but in either case it feels a bit too far off into the future to do anything about it. We can't start with accountability questions here, because the person is nowhere near ready. Our role is to build trust and explore the impact of the current situation to begin to raise awareness about the need for change that.

Speaker 2: 15:06

The second stage is contemplation. So this is where we start to acknowledge that we need to make a change or take some action. We haven't quite committed to it yet and we might be weighing up the benefits of change against the consequences of not changing. And again, at this stage we're not ready to set an accountability goal. We need to help others and ourselves really connect in with the need for change. For example, with poor performance, we would spend some time with the individual, helping them see the impact of their performance, helping them understand it in more depth.

Speaker 2: 15:42

At stage three, we're ready for preparation. So we're beginning to move. We know we want to be doing something differently and this is where we co-create together the actionable steps and the accountability structures. We agree a plan for what will happen and we also agree how we'll be held accountable for that plan. We also, at this stage, want to make sure that we, or the person we're with, is actually capable of doing the things that are required. So if somebody is really struggling with their performance, we need to work on what are their development needs? Do they have the knowledge and skills to act.

Speaker 2: 16:20

Stage four is action. So this is where we're doing the things that we've said we'll do and we're monitoring progress. Together. We'll be celebrating wins, we'll be refining plans, we're unblocking, we're working on overcoming resistance and procrastination. We're unblocking, we're working on overcoming resistance and procrastination.

Speaker 2: 16:39

And then the final stage is maintenance. And we can ignore this, I think, sometimes, because we think that okay, so once we've done something, once we've achieved it, that's it there. But actually we all do need to keep a little bit of nudging, to keep moving in the direction of our travels, to keep going. So committing to regular touch-ins and connection points is really important. But there is also an acknowledgement. So one of my goals a few years ago was to aim to exercise every day. It might just be a walk, and that was really difficult at the beginning, and now I noticed that on the days that I don't exercise, I feel out of sorts. So I'm at a maintenance stage and if it's somebody, for example, with poor performance, they've got back on track. But we want to just check in occasionally and help them maintain their momentum. What I like about these stages, and I want to reiterate, is acknowledging that we actually have to be ready before we can go into accountability and when action isn't happening, we may need to go back to values, to purpose, to what matters and what motivates us to help with that.

Speaker 2: 17:51

Linked to this, we can also take time to understand what our internal and external drivers and motivators are for the change or the action. And these are things that we can do with again, alone or with an accountability buddy, and there's a few questions that we can ask ourselves. We can start by thinking about us, about what, what's driving me to make this change? And we can ask questions like what makes this change important? What's my internal driver for the change? How important is it for me that this change happens? What are the consequences of not achieving my goal? What steps can I take? How will I know if my plan is working and what's going to get in the way of my plan and what could I do if my plan stops working? And we can also look at external motivators, things that are going to drive us from external action. So we can ask that you know, are there any external drivers for the change? But we can also think about how important is it to others that I do this? What are the consequences for others of not achieving my goal. How can others help me? What will interfere externally with my plan and how would I like to be held accountable? This is where we can think about. You know, who do I want to go with me in this? And then, finally, what structures can I put in place to help me achieve my plan?

Speaker 2: 19:21

I've mentioned structures twice, so let me just explain what these are. These are things that help us make sure that we do something, that we remember it. Meeting regularly with a coach or a manager is a form of structure, but it can also be simple structures like setting phone reminders or tracking habits on a spreadsheet or tying daily routines to actions. So, for example, we might commit to reviewing our goals every morning over coffee or while we're brushing our teeth and we think about the day ahead, or while we're brushing our teeth and we think about the day ahead. Another really helpful structure is something called an if-then tool. This is where we say if it is 10am, then I will do this, or if I find myself with 30 minutes in the evening, then I will do some yoga. I've recently set myself an if-then structure, again to do with my accounts, which says if it is Monday, then I will do my accounts. There's another tool that can be very helpful. It's also connected to this. That's called the readiness ruler, or we sometimes call it a scaling tool, and again, you can work with this personally or with a coach. But let me walk you through it now.

Speaker 2: 20:37

So if you think of something that you would like to do for your fitness or your health but you've been putting off doing it, maybe this might be doing weight training three times a week. You know the change is going to be good for you. You know all the reasons and you'd like to commit to doing it and to doing it differently. So we start by asking, on a scale of one to 10, how ready are you to commit to taking action? One is low, not ready. 10 high I'm on it. So think of your number. I'll choose six. Now you can ask yourself what makes this a six and not a four, and why aren't you at a seven? What makes this a six and not a four and why aren't you at a seven? And then you can ask yourself what number would you like to be at before you start taking action. So let me bring this to life for you.

Speaker 2: 21:23

I would like to commit to having more salads during the day instead of reaching for bread, and I've been thinking about doing it for a while, and sometimes I do it, but really I would like to be there at least five days a week. I'm at a six on my commitment readiness and I'm not at a four because I do already achieve it two or three days a week, and I'm not at a seven because I can see lots of excuses about why I'm not doing it. My goal is to get to a nine A level of trust in myself that eating salads during the day is what I do. So now the question the accountability question is what would need to change for me to get to a nine? Well, one thing that stops me is time.

Speaker 2: 22:07

In the middle of the day, I get caught up in work, and so what I could do is I could make salads when I make my breakfast. I'm in the kitchen anyway. Another thing is I sometimes get bored with the same salad, so on a Sunday, I could plan two or three different types of salad and make sure we've got all the ingredients. Another option is I could choose an audio book or a podcast that I'm only allowed to listen to whilst I'm preparing and eating my salad, so that I have a reward. And another reward is that I could have dark chocolate, but only on the days that I have a salad. So now I have a plan, I have a goal, five days a week and in thinking about it, my likelihood of this has committed, of me committing to this, has grown and I feel quite motivated. But what I also notice is that I really could do with an accountability buddy on this, so clearly my sense of accountability is moving. On this note, marshall Goldsmith, who's a quite well-known coach, famously has someone he has a daily accountability call with just for five minutes that he asks you know, did he do the goals that he set? And he tracks his progress on a spreadsheet. And I want to say give a shout out to Andrew Colvert for reminding me about this recently.

Speaker 2: 23:27

In many ways, of course, groups are another fantastic version of accountability support, because we often come together and in those spaces we create change together, and we of course know of the many groups there are for addiction, for weight loss, there are career support groups, masterminds, and I think that what these do is they not only help us to be accountable, they inspire us. We're inspired when we see others making progress and we feel accountable to others to keep moving. Everything I've talked about here, I think, can apply to both self-accountability as well as supporting others. We just start with our why, clarifying our why. Why is this goal important to me? How does it align with my vision and values? And then we set those structures, that plan in place, and when things don't go to plan, we can explore what's really going on. We can say is the goal still relevant? Are there hidden fears or barriers that we haven't named? Because really, setbacks are opportunities to learn. I think, and often say to my clients, we can look at something and say well, look at what went wrong and what can we learn from it, what can we take away from this? How can we reframe these obstacles to see them as part of the process?

Speaker 2: 24:54

Before I wrap up, I do just want to come back to one really important thing and that is something that James Clear talks about in Atomic Habits which is the idea of improving 1% a day, because over time, those small, consistent efforts make up to big changes, and I love this concept because I think it takes the pressure of us of needing to achieve massive results all at once. It's about celebrating small progress, and if we're working with an accountability buddy, we can do just this. We can say let's agree a 1% change before we next meet. Just 1%, because that's much more likely to be achieved.

Speaker 2: 25:38

As I've been thinking about this over the past few weeks, I've seen how incredibly helpful accountability is and how worth it is. Engaging within our lives, I've come to value it a lot more. We can lean on others to help us achieve things in our lives, and sharing goals with a trusted friend or a coach can add in that extra layer of support and accountability. And I've come to see that there are areas in all of our lives where this can be helpful. It can be a mentor, a manager, a coach, personal trainer, friend, a partner, anyone who'll check in and ask how are you doing? Do you need any help?

Speaker 2: 26:22

Thinking about it, and really probably without the support, some things are never going to get done. We need people to walk alongside us. So I've learned that accountability is something to be cherished. If we approach it as adults together, looking at how something can be achieved or overcome, then action is more likely. Our lives can change with the help of others. Thanks for joining me today. Thanks for joining me today, and I hope that you, too, find a way to work in an engaging and energizing way with accountability. If this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts, and there's links in the bio to how you can connect with me, and also to feel free to share this podcast with someone who you think might find it helpful.

Speaker 1: 27:19

Thanks for joining this episode of Making Sense of Work. If you enjoyed it, please go and subscribe, rate and review. If you have a topic you'd like me to explore in the podcast, please follow the show notes and send me a message.