Speaker 1: 0:02

Welcome to the Fulfilled Leader Podcast, the podcast to strengthen your emotional resilience and find fulfillment at work. I'm your host, jean Balfour, master Certified Coach, with over 5,000 hours one-to-one and tens of thousands of hours in groups. I've coached incredible leaders like you to overcome their biggest work challenges and go on to lead resiliently, finding the type of fulfillment they never knew possible. They are leaders people want to work for and organizations want to hire. In this podcast, we have conversations about the psychological and emotional struggles of leadership. About the psychological and emotional struggles of leadership, you're going to hear neuroscience, psychology, leadership models and evidence-based approaches that all have an impact in helping you be a resilient and fulfilled leader. Every week, you learn ideas and tools that will shift the way you lead and live your life, making change possible. Let's start the show. Hello, friends, and welcome to the 100th episode of my podcast, which started life as Making Sense of Work and is now the Fulfilled Leader.

Speaker 1: 1:20

I had long dreamt of having a podcast, thinking that perhaps it was a medium I would enjoy, but it took a quiet December in 2021 for me to finally settle down and get it started. For those of us in Singapore, we were still not traveling then. Covid had kept me here for nearly two years and, looking back, that enforced stay-at at home period created the space for me to finally start something important. With a little guidance from friends, I got going and I did everything except the original artwork. I researched the best microphone, the recording process, editing, setting it up on the host platform, everything and it really tested all of my tech skills and I have loved it. Nearly four years later, I'm still going. The past year it's not been as frequent as I would have liked, but now I'm back to weekly and, as I said, I really love it. There's something about a podcast which pulls together for me the three areas of work that I enjoy the most to create and write, to teach and to coach and have conversations and that all happens here. So today I'm going to share a few brief insights from the journey of the podcast, and over the coming weeks I'll re-share few favorite episodes, giving those of you who are new a chance to listen in. And I'm also going to talk today about the role that my journaling habit or practice has played in helping me create the podcast and how I believe that journaling is a secret helper for us as leaders.

Speaker 1: 3:03

But let me start with the three lessons. I don't see myself as someone who's very consistent. I get bored easily. I like change. So I'm actually quite surprised by how I've kept going with the podcast.

Speaker 1: 3:21

And maybe the first lesson comes from this when we do something that feeds us, we keep going, we're able to persevere. In many episodes I've shared my own struggles with overwhelm over the last few years, but this is never related to the creation of the podcast, because always when I sat down to think about it I felt good. That happened again today. This is an important lesson for all of us. I think On days when you're under pressure, taking time to do something that really matters can help a lot, just for example, having 15 minutes of coffee with a colleague or going for a walk with one of your direct reports. So lesson one is make sure our work involves something that gives us energy and enjoyment. Lesson two relates to imposter syndrome.

Speaker 1: 4:12

When I first started, I often thought but I've got nothing to say, and actually that can still happen. What I've learned, and what's very obvious 100 episodes in, is that I've always got something to say rather a lot, in fact. I just need to create space. I need to commit to making time to work out what it is that I'm thinking about, a topic. What was really curious is that, even preparing to think about journaling in this episode, I noticed that voice saying you know, how can you possibly do an episode about journaling? What have you got to say? Well, of course, after I got going, I had to stop because I had a lot to say. I clearly have a lot of thoughts about journaling and that got me wondering about you and all of us in fact, about how that voice still can hold us back and how we can learn to notice it and keep going. When we commit to something, when we make space for it, when we show up for it, actually our brain gets into gear and helps us to come up with the ideas, the solution. It helps us to find what we think about things. It helps us to solve problems and when that happens, actually the imposter quietens and we just get on with the job.

Speaker 1: 5:28

Lesson three is about how to live with not getting any feedback and learning that this doesn't mean something isn't working or isn't helpful for others. The strangest thing about having a podcast is that when you put it out there, you really don't know what people think. I can see the number of people listening, but seldom do I hear what people's thoughts are about an episode. Just occasionally I might be out with somebody and they'll mention it, and at the beginning this was so hard I began to think, well, what was the point if I didn't hear back? But I learned along the way that, first of all, the process of creation is helping me enormously, and I also know that people are listening because I can see the numbers and therefore it must be helpful, and so I've mostly stopped asking slightly needy questions of people I meet of. You know, what did you think of the last episode?

Speaker 1: 6:24

I think this is also true for us as leaders. We're often leading in the absence of enough feedback, and that can lead to some insecurity, and I think that what we can do is to first of all learn to live with this a bit, notice the insecurity and be kind to ourselves, and to resist the urge to be a bit needy and ask people do you like me? Am I a good leader? I know I've done that myself in the past. And of course, we can set up regular opportunities for people to provide honest feedback about what they're enjoying, about our leadership and where we could keep growing and changing and we can do that in a structured way. We can work with our employee surveys through our performance reviews and we can learn to trust ourselves that if people are staying and hanging around and working with us, there's a chance we're getting something right. But the final piece here, which leads me into the rest of this episode, is that my daily journaling practice has been really fundamental in me keeping going Right.

Speaker 1: 7:29

Even from the inception of the podcast, I did loads and loads of journaling about what would it be about? What would I call it? And in the days before ChatGPT which this was I had to do that all myself, which this was. I had to do that all myself. And I want to share today some practical tips for journaling because I've seen how powerful it can be and how powerful it's been for me in this process. It's led to so much growth in myself, it's led to opportunities in my business and it's helped to keep the podcast going. Some of you will already have a journaling practice in place and others will know about it. There may be some resistance. Some say people are either for or against and some of you are probably wondering what even is a journaling practice. So I'm going to share a bit of my own experience and then talk about how you can get started and share some very practical tips.

Speaker 1: 8:30

I first started to journal when I was 11. I traveled from New Zealand to the UK with my family to visit my grandmother and my grandfather. We were away a long time and I was off school, and so part of my homework was to write every day, and a couple of months ago I found that journal. Here's a few short pieces from it 29th of August 1975 we had a late lunch and after lunch I did a jigsaw. 7th of September 1975 this morning we stayed at home and packed. It was a horrible job. 22nd of September 1975. This morning I did some schoolwork. It was depressing as everyone else was out, mum went to Exeter and I stayed at home with Granny. Well, when I read this, I thought well, nothing much changes in my life, it appears. I still enjoy jigsaws, hate packing, and there are days when my journal still reads today. I worked too hard and it was depressing. 50 years later, it seems maybe I didn't learn that much, but my real journal practice started when I traveled to the UK in my early 20s, and since then.

Speaker 1: 9:46

I've kept a journal on and off for a long time, mostly for the next period. It was writing in it when I needed to think something through or when something hard was occurring and I needed to process it. Then in 2016, on holiday in Auckland, I picked up Julia Cameron's seminal work, the Artist's Way. This is an amazing book, not just for artists, but for all of us who do work that involves some form of thought work, and it's great for leaders. Her main process in the book is something she calls the morning pages. This is three pages of free flow writing where you put pen to the page and write without thinking. You don't even necessarily revisit that writing. You just write to see what emerges. Reading her book on that holiday started my very serious journaling habit, and I now have a large shelf full of completed journals and many, many things emerged as I committed to that practice and as I still do it six or seven days a week.

Speaker 1: 10:52

Once I got going, I began to notice things like thinking patterns that were holding me back. I also noticed how I kept writing about wanting to make more of an impact in my work. At the time, I was doing a lot of short workshops for organizations and I wanted to go on a longer, deeper development journey with leaders, and the accredited coach training program which I've run for the last eight years was born from those journal pages. Every day I played with the idea, I tested models, budgets, my feelings about it, I explored my thought patterns. Who am I to teach coaching? And I asked for guidance from my inner wisdom. I've often said that without those morning pages, without that daily writing practice, the program would never have existed. And and this has happened again over the past year as I was writing, I noticed time and again that I was losing some fulfillment in my working life and I came to see that again it was time for change and my move away from teaching coaching back to coaching leaders, which is really at the core of the work I do. That wouldn't have happened without the morning pages, and it's not just me that thinks this is a good habit.

Speaker 1: 12:10

Research strongly suggests journaling. A number of studies have shown that journaling has psychological benefits in reducing stress and anxiety, increasing clarity and emotional regulation. It also boosts creativity and helps with problem solving. One study showed that after people had been made redundant, if they kept a journal, they found a job more quickly. There are also studies looking at whether to type or handwrite, and the research shows that handwriting engages our brains differently. It activates different brain regions and increases the likelihood of us remembering or handwrite, and the research shows that handwriting engages our brains differently. It activates different brain regions and increases the likelihood of us remembering, and it also helps the brain to process information.

Speaker 1: 12:52

Many leaders have also famously journaled. Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher, was one. His journal, later published as Meditations, was never meant for public view, as mine certainly aren't. It reflects deeply on self-discipline, leadership and mortality. Leonardo da Vinci kept extensive notebooks filled with sketches, scientific observations, inventions and reflections, and these apparently helped him make connections across disciplines. Barack Obama has spoken about using journaling as a part of his personal reflection and leadership preparation. Lady Gaga is known to use journaling as a grounding and creative practice and has mentioned journaling ideas, lyrics and emotional processing. And finally, richard Branson apparently is never far from a notebook to write notes and ideas and he's doing that all the time, and he also has a morning journaling habit.

Speaker 1: 13:56

I hope I've convinced you that it's worth it. But before I go on, let me just share one final thing. In our coach training program. We have our students on the level two program to keep a journal for 14 days and then to write about the experience of journaling. We don't, of course, ask them to share the journal itself. They share what the experience was like. This is a quite resisted activity. Some people are not really happy about being asked to do it and would prefer not to, but it's a compulsory part of the program and so they do, and some start willingly, some start reluctantly, but what they share is that after a few days they begin to notice the benefits. They say things like I can see thinking patterns and recurring themes where I didn't see them before. Or I've used the journal to process thoughts and feelings about interactions with people, often calming myself down, enabling me to approach conversations with calm. And in my journal I've thought through an idea for a new product. And in my journal I've thought through an idea for a new product.

Speaker 1: 15:03

Journaling helps us so much. It helps us to connect in with ourselves and our inner wisdom. For me, as my pen flows on the paper, I know that I'm mining my system, for what I really think and feel, for ideas I have, for what might be possible. And I know that on the days when I don't do it, I do struggle more. I always notice I lose focus a bit more easily. Even sometimes I think I'm not so present with people.

Speaker 1: 15:33

So how can you get started? Well, firstly, there's no right and wrong. There are lots of people saying you have to do it in the morning. I don't care, I don't think all of that matters. I think you have to find a way that works for you. You can write on the bus, you can talk into a notes app, you can do it on your phone, whatever works for you. In fact, I've been seen sometimes to use my Apple Watch in the swimming pool to record a few ideas.

Speaker 1: 15:58

And there's no perfect time of day, whilst Julia Cameron suggests the morning. That may not work for you and many people end their day with it. Some take it to lunch and you can write about anything. You can reflect on leadership, your own work, personal issues, projects, problems, the weather, anything. You can keep a gratitude journal, or one client who was in a particularly challenging time kept a misery journal. She didn't call it that, allowing herself to write down everything she was struggling with.

Speaker 1: 16:31

As with any practice, you just need to start somewhere, and so one way to do this is to book a time and set a timer for 10 minutes and then just write. Either start with a question like what is my intention for today? Or a big one what's one wish I hope for my career in the next five years, or just start writing and write. Don't take your pen off the page for the 10 minutes and if you don't know what to write, simply write. I don't know what to write until something comes, and I've done that myself many times. Something always emerges after I've done that.

Speaker 1: 17:07

You can also use questions as journaling prompts, and here are a few examples. You can ask simple things like on this problem, what do I think I should do? What are my options? What do I feel about it? What do I think about it? And if a friend were here, what would they say about this? You can ask some deeper questions like what did I learn about myself in the last 24 hours? Or what would I like people to say about my leadership today? As an intention, yesterday I was grateful for my intentions for today you can also keep a record of your day.

Speaker 1: 17:47

If you do that, at the end or the beginning of the day, you can look back. You can look back for moments when things went well, moments of challenge, moments of joy. It can be particularly helpful when you're making decisions at work or about your future. You can explore thoughts, feelings, options, roadblocks. You can tune into your intuition. Something about the process of writing, particularly about decisions, enables us to go deeper and find what we really think and feel. In fact, sometimes I'll just write down the question what else do I think about this? What else, what else, what else? If you have a coach or a mentor, journaling after the meeting with them will help you remember what's happened in the session. This is linked to what's going on for the brain with us, and that will help to make the learning more sticky. But what I also know is doing some journaling then will help you process and come up with more ideas that have emerged from the conversation.

Speaker 1: 18:48

One thing to notice is when your inner critic shows up when you're journaling, because this can be really helpful. You can both notice what it's saying and then also look for other possibilities. So an example might be your inner voice is saying oh, you really shouldn't plan to be a part of the ex-co because you're not going to be able to do the job well enough. You can notice this and then look at all the perspectives. You can say well, what do I know I'm good at? How does my experience match those already in an ex-co position? What might the areas be I need to develop in order to succeed? And how can I get this experience? You can use the journaling process as a coach to quieten that inner critic. There's so much you can do. I've created a handout with many more prompts, particularly focusing on your leadership, and the link to this is in the show notes. Here's a few other things to note.

Speaker 1: 19:48

Even after decades of journaling, I can find myself writing in my head for an audience, wondering what people would think if they read my writing. And when this happens, I just remind myself. This is for my eyes only. There are instructions that they should be destroyed if I'm no longer here, and it doesn't matter what others think. This is a space for me and my own thinking, so I encourage you to give it a go.

Speaker 1: 20:18

At the beginning, you may not find so much depth is emerging, and this is the reason I suggest you commit to doing it for a two-week period to start with. When you notice yourself wondering if it's worth it. You can remind yourself that after two weeks you can stop if it isn't providing any value. As the weeks move forward, you might notice similar topics emerging, something you're struggling with coming up again and again, and that's okay too, and when this happens to me, I know where my next personal development project is. You may also find that you start to solve problems, but it takes a little time to get to the moment where this happens, and be patient and, most of all, keep writing. Trust that you will discover something. It's like having a coach, except that coach is you.

Speaker 1: 21:10

So I'd strongly encourage you to have a go at journaling, and I'd like to finish by saying thank you for coming with me in these 100 episodes of this podcast. It's been a fabulous journey for me and I really look forward to carrying on the conversation in this new version in the Fulfilled Leader podcast, and I'd love to hear your thoughts about any topics you'd like me to cover and any guests you might think it would be good for me to have a conversation with. Thanks for listening to the Fulfilled Leader. If this episode resonated, share it with another leader or friend, and don't forget to follow the podcast so you never miss an episode. You can even rate and review. You can find more support and resources at jeanbalfourcom, or come and say hello on LinkedIn. Take care and keep leading with heart.