Speaker 1: 0:01

Welcome to the Fulfilled Leader Podcast, the podcast to strengthen your emotional resilience and find fulfillment at work. I'm your host, jean Balfour, master Certified Coach, with over 5,000 hours one-to-one and tens of thousands of hours in groups. I've coached incredible leaders like you to overcome their biggest work challenges and go on to lead resiliently, finding the type of fulfillment they never knew possible. They are leaders people want to work for and organizations want to hire. In this podcast, we have conversations about the psychological and emotional struggles of leadership. The psychological and emotional struggles of leadership. You're going to hear neuroscience, psychology, leadership models and evidence-based approaches that all have an impact in helping you be a resilient and fulfilled leader. Every week, you learn ideas and tools that will shift the way you lead and live your life, making change possible. Let's start the show. Live your life making change possible. Let's start the show. Hi and welcome to the Fulfilled Leader.

Speaker 1: 1:16

Oh, my goodness, so many people are talking about overwhelm at the moment. Earlier this week, I saw a post from Karen Kimberer. She's the chief economist at LinkedIn and she was citing that there is an in-year increase of 82% of people posting about overwhelm, and I know this is true from the conversations I'm having. So I thought I'd revisit this topic in this practical episode, sharing both insights into what might be happening and also strategies for how we can handle it. You probably don't need me to be telling you why this is happening. Global factors, as well as the speed of movement on AI, are all leading to a growing sense of we need to do more, more, more. For example, learning how to use AI has added something into leaders' agendas which were already full and overflowing. So many of my clients are telling me that their days are so full of meetings that the only time they get to do any other work is the evenings, and this is, of course, leading to longer and longer days and more and more potential for burnout. There's also a lot of fear for people at work sitting underneath this Fear of dropping balls because there's so much to do, and fear of losing our jobs if we drop those balls or for other reasons, and then fear of not being able to find a new job. So we just work, we work, work, work to reduce this likelihood.

Speaker 1: 2:49

I'm also wondering if this overwhelm is a bit contagious. We're seeing it in others, we're picking up this feeling and then we kind of feed each other with this feeling of being overwhelmed and it becomes a bit of a cycle, and so in revisiting this topic today, I wanted to give a bit of a refreshed perspective. I covered it in a podcast a while ago, but I wanted to go back to it and see what fresh ways we could think about overwhelm and think about how we can be less overwhelmed in these challenging times. I want to start by being a little bit provocative. We often usually think that being overwhelmed has a kind of simplified cause We've got too much to do and this is clearly how most people are seeing it. I ran a poll on LinkedIn last week and the majority of people are saying that the cause of overwhelm is heavy workload and too many priorities. So this is clearly true and I'm not going to try and say this is not true. But whilst I know and honor this, I also see in my coaching that there can be other contributing factors and it's actually quite complex. So I don't want to diminish the reality, but I do want to see if I can offer some respite in this heat which seems to be building. I also think that if we can understand more about these underlying causes, it might be easier to find a route out or at least find some moments of ease in these challenging times. I wonder, if we find a way to step back and look with curiosity, we might be able to see things a bit differently. We might be able to see the wood for the trees and then we might find some fresh insight. And so in this episode I'm going to share a bit of my own experience and also share some thinking that I've done around overwhelm, and then I'm going to introduce some ideas and strategies I have for how we can manage it maybe, or at least get some relief, how we can move forward to energy and enjoyment at least an increase in that enjoyment.

Speaker 1: 5:08

I've really had a big experience myself of overwhelm in recent years, and when I was preparing for this I looked back and thought it really started during COVID, and actually I think this is true for many people. I think that in many ways for me it's only been in the last few months that I've come completely out of the woods, and I still have occasional moments. But I'm in a much better place, and during this last period I've been trying many of the strategies that I discuss here and I have made some changes to my work, as I've been talking about and I've also worked really hard on my emotional resilience, understanding some of the causes of my overwhelm, which for me, can be perfectionism and people pleasing. I've learned about this, about what was creating my overwhelm, and I could see quite a few things. So too much work, of course, is an energy drainer, but particularly too much work that didn't kind of fit me, and an example of this for me was that our coaching program needed to be compliant with our accrediting body and I needed to make sure that that was in place and that all the moving parts didn't stop moving, and I could see that this was draining me. I could also see that the volumes of that type of work were taking me away from the work that feeds me, which is coaching or teaching or writing and again, I've already talked a bit about this on the podcast.

Speaker 1: 6:35

But when I'm coaching, I feel present and alive and I come out of sessions with a strong sense of clarity and energy. Writing's also become like this, including preparing for podcasts, and sitting and thinking about how I can support people has become really enjoyable but also feeds me. But thinking about coaching competencies and compliance has definitely led to some overwhelm. So there were clues for me in what was feeding me, and also a lot of clues that there were a lot of things that I was doing in the operational side of our business that were draining me, and probably I had too much of an imbalance of the work that was draining me. So, for me, I run my own business. I've been able to make changes to change that, and I know that that's not possible for many of you, and so I'm going to make sure I share today strategies that I think can help all of us to manage our overwhelm.

Speaker 1: 7:34

Before we do that, though, I want to have a look at what's contributing to it, because, as I said earlier, I don't think it's simple, because, of course, the first one is that we've simply got too much to do, and I think this is true, but I also think that most people now are pretty good at time management, and those strategies are failing at the moment. So let's just say, firstly, we're overwhelmed, we've got too much to do, but it could also be that we've got too much challenge in our role. This might be either a challenge of the type of work we're doing or a challenge in our role. This might be either a challenge of the type of work we're doing, or a challenge with the people we're working with, feeling like we have to debate and defend ourselves. Or maybe we're in a new role and we're just overwhelmed by the amount of learning and the dealing with new topics and new areas. I've spoken to a few people recently who are certainly experiencing this.

Speaker 1: 8:25

We might be overwhelmed by having too many ideas. This seems a strange one, but bear with me. We either might have too many ideas ourselves or we might be on the receiving end of others' good ideas, and this is actually a big one for me, because I could be doing 15 different projects at any given time and I'll have 15 other ideas for different things I can do, and then I get really excited and then I get overwhelmed. I don't know where to start, and so I don't do any of them, and so I just end up metaphorically pushing paper around my desk.

Speaker 1: 9:01

We can of be overwhelmed by our emotions, and that can be impacting our feeling of overwhelm at work. It might be that something's happening in our personal lives that's impacting us, or it could be that there's some relationships at work that aren't going well and then we're flooded with emotion and then that begins to feel like we're overwhelmed by work, but actually it might be that what's happening is we're overwhelmed by emotion. The problem with this one is that, particularly at work, we often try to ignore it and just get on with work, and then we wonder why work is feeling so hard and why we can't get on top of things. It could be a feeling of being out of our depth. This is about not feeling as competent as we feel we ought to be. Maybe we feel like we're catching up on learning or we're working on a stretch assignment, and the challenge for this one is that we start to feel not only overwhelmed, but we start to feel not good enough, and then imposter syndrome can creep in. I think this might be a big one for many people at the moment feeling the need to learn and keep up with AI, along with all the other things going on in our environments, and struggling to do that on top of work that was already overflowing.

Speaker 1: 10:19

Overwhelm can come from having too many different types of work, so this was partly true for me. I've got a variety of things going on, and I'm sure this might be true for you as well. So I can be working on a writing project and then something happens and then I'm in my emails and I just look at my emails and then I'm distracted by some operational work. Then I go to and then I may be back to writing. So I'm jumping around between things and we understand from research on focus that this is actually causing us a big problem, because every time we try and do two different things, our brain needs to move to each of those things. Every time we move from one task to another task, it takes us time to go back to the first task, and that can leave us feeling both unproductive and overwhelmed. It's called cognitive shifting, and every time we do it it costs us energy.

Speaker 1: 11:19

Low delegation is one I'm seeing especially at the moment, because the leaders I'm working with have big jobs and they know that their teams also have big jobs and they're concerned. They don't want to add to it, so they're instead holding on to things that maybe in the past they might have delegated. And I think here we can think about how do we work with our teams to see if there's things that can be done differently, because, especially for leaders, holding onto things and not delegating is not going to serve the team in the long run. There's another one that I love to think about which is a bit curious, and this is about having lots of unfinished things. So this is when we've got lots of things we're working on and we're not getting enough closure.

Speaker 1: 12:05

Some of you will be familiar with the idea of gestalt. It's a psychotherapeutic approach Bear with me, I've personally benefited a lot from this and one of the core concepts in gestalt is something called the cycle of experience, and this is the idea that when we become aware of something, or when we start something and we don't finish it, we don't move through to completion and it stays open. And when it stays open, it stays at the front of our mind and so we end up with it nagging us. We're kind of thinking about it all the time and it keeps popping up. So if we've got 10 projects that we're working on that are not moving to completion or even near completion, that can leave us feeling overwhelmed.

Speaker 1: 12:49

Of course, not taking enough breaks can contribute to it long or short breaks. If you're stuck at the computer for hours, we're seeing increasing research that this is stopping us from thinking clearly, so we end up pushing equivalently the paper around the desk. For me, this can look like I open my email, I think, oh, I can't deal with that now, and then I close it and then of course it means I'm not dealing with it. So instead I might actually be better to take a break, go away, make a coffee, look out the window and then come back and open it again and deal with it. But because we're not taking breaks, our brain isn't getting that downtime, and that can contribute to overwhelm.

Speaker 1: 13:32

Working with lots of interruptions is another. So if we're in a position where we're doing something then we get interrupted, then we have to go back to it. It links to cognitive shifting, but this can disturb our concentration and again we don't get things finished, get this feeling of overwhelm. I'm nearly there, but wait, there's more. There could be other internal factors affecting us.

Speaker 1: 13:54

If I'm prone, as I am, to perfectionism or people-pleasing, I might be inclined to do more or worry more, leading to overwhelm. Maybe I lack assertiveness, so I say yes to things when really I mean no, or I'm worrying about something personal that's stopping me from focusing on my work. Also, I may be, in this climate, afraid of failing or afraid of being made redundant, and so I just keep working without stopping and taking care of myself. So that was a long list. There's so many things, so many things that could be causing this feeling of overwhelm, that can be contributing to it, to this feeling that we're not handling things, that we're not getting enough done.

Speaker 1: 14:37

And if you're feeling like that now, I suggest you maybe even pause the episode and take some time to think about that list, grab your journal and ask yourself honestly what are the likely multiple causes of my feeling of overwhelm? It won't just be one thing, what's going on, and just keep saying to yourself what else is going on here. See if you can get to the bottom of it, because once you've got to the bottom of it and understand the causes, then you'll be able to look for ideas for how to resolve it. And I'm going to share some ideas here, but your ideas will be best. But with that in mind, what can you do? So, as I've suggested, I suggest taking time to do an inquiry and really get underneath your overwhelm and look for all the factors, look for the stories you're telling yourself, look for anything that's going on, maybe worrying about upsetting colleagues or team members, not knowing how to keep your boss happy and really be curious about that inner world, because, whilst the outer world of work is overflowing, there will be inner stories and messages that we're telling ourselves that may be adding fuel to the fire, and when we identify those, we can surface them and work on them, seeing them for what they are usually thoughts that are contributing to the situation.

Speaker 1: 16:01

On a completely different tack, you can find something to complete. This is linked to this idea of gestalt Take a look at all of your unfinished work and get something done. There's some suggestion that this even gives you a dopamine hit, and so it's good for us in our whole system. So find something you could complete, get it off your desk, maybe block a couple of hours of uninterrupt could complete, get it off your desk, maybe blop a couple of hours of uninterrupted time and get it finished. As I did, you can look for what feeds you and what drains you and make time every day to do something at least one thing, if not many things, in the category that gives you energy, and this might change over your career.

Speaker 1: 16:41

I know when I was in my 20s I needed to be with people all the time. Now I often find that it's time alone that will help me regroup. Maybe for you, it's focusing on a detailed piece of work energizes you, or maybe it's mentoring a colleague. Spend some time thinking about what energizes me, what depletes me, and see if you can put just a few more things that energize you into your day and prioritize those. Next is to think about who you're working with, and are there people who are helping or hindering your recovery? Are there energy givers and are there energy drainers? Now, of course, we can't control this. We go to work. We can't control who we work with, but we can find more time with the energy givers, with the energizers. Go and have coffee with somebody who you know helps you smile, or somebody who helps you think clearly about a piece of work that you're working on. Find those people who are going to help you have that injection of energy and allow yourself, when you're with them, a short time to talk about challenges and difficulties, but also make sure you move on to solution and possibility.

Speaker 1: 17:54

I'm a big fan of time blocking and I've talked about this a few times in the podcast, and this is a strategy that I personally find very useful myself and use a lot, and I see that most of the successful leaders I coach use some form of time blocking. So what this means is that you look at your calendar and you block certain time off for certain activities and that that time is immovable. It's a turn devices off and focus moment. In my case, in fact, I sometimes go to a different place or I go and work somewhere different, so that I know this is not operational work, for example. This is a deep work moment.

Speaker 1: 18:36

This could even be that you time block time to deal with your inbox because inboxes are such a cause of overwhelm. So it can be saying okay, I'm going to do an hour, I'm going to set a timer, I'm not going to allow myself to be distracted. I'm turning my do not disturb on, so I'm only dealing with emails and I'm going to get through my inbox because I know I'll feel better when I've cleared some of it. Maybe I'll get that dopamine hit. You can do it in so many ways time blocking, but it's really powerful and I really suggest it. And linked to this if you're struggling with back-to-back meetings all day because I hear that this is a challenge for so many people that means, of course, that you're not getting time to deal with your inbox. I would also encourage you then, before you finish those meetings, to go straight to your inbox to have some downtime. Maybe find time to be with the family, maybe exercise, read, paint, do a puzzle, something that will take you away from work for a while, so that when you come back to that activity your mind is a bit rested. Mind is a bit rested.

Speaker 1: 19:37

Another strategy, which isn't always popular, is to sit with our emotions, and I know when we're feeling overwhelmed, this is sometimes the last thing we want to do. We don't want to be sitting with what we're feeling, but the thing is that not sitting with your feelings can be contributing to the overwhelm. There's something about being conscious of feelings that is really helpful, because when they're unconscious, they're impacting us and we're not able to do anything about them. So conscious feelings are good feelings. This might be that you sit down with your journal or go for a walk with a colleague or a friend, or you just say, okay, I'm feeling overwhelmed, I feel like there might be something emotional going on here. Can I just talk to you about it and just start to think what might be causing the emotional piece that's stopping you from feeling effective, that's leading to this overwhelm?

Speaker 1: 20:29

Another thing you can do is something creative. There's such a lovely growing body of research emerging about how engaging with our creative brain is an anxiety reliever, and I think overwhelm is often connected to anxiety. So engaging with your creative brain is great. It's also a very personal thing, so you need to work out. You know, how would I define creativity for me? So that might be coming up with ideas, or it might be working on a piece of work that you really enjoy because it involves some creative thinking. It could be things that we often think about maybe as pure creativity listening to some music or doing some drawing or something but anything that's going to take you away from very task-focused things to things that involve you having to think outside the box, to think a bit differently.

Speaker 1: 21:18

And linked to this, there's something called glimmers that can help us to regroup. A glimmer is the opposite of a trigger, so a trigger is something that takes us towards a kind of negativity moment, but glimmers trigger us to something positive. They brighten us, they help us to smile. It might be for you looking at a photo of your kids. For me, it's always jazz. If I put on some jazz, it really shifts my mood, but it's anything that's going to move your brain to feeling good. You're feeling good in your system and that makes you smile. Even just looking at the clouds can do it.

Speaker 1: 21:54

Another slightly different strategy that's connected to all of this is that you can actually start to track your progress on your feelings of overwhelm. So usually overwhelm happens over a long period of time and when you start to put strategies in place to improve it, you might want to just check in with yourself, and you could maybe use something called scaling for this, so you could say okay, one is I'm really completely flooded and I need to lie down, and 10 is I'm on top of everything, I'm feeling pretty good with the world and check in with yourself a few times a few times a day, if you can, but at least two or three times a week and see where your number is and then see where it was last time and, over a period, see if it's moving in the right direction and, if it is, then work out what is it that you're doing that's helping it move in the right direction? So, are you time blocking and that's made a difference? For example, if it's going in the wrong direction, then maybe you need to come back and think about what is contributing to my overwhelm and what am I going to do about it.

Speaker 1: 23:03

The last thing I want to share is something that came to me from the book the One Thing by Gary Keller. This book had a real impact on me. In the book he asked this question what's the one thing I can do such that by doing it, everything else will become easier or unnecessary? I love this question what's the one thing I can do? And nearly 10 years ago I asked myself this question when I was in a period of overwhelm and it ended up with me stopping a few projects and focusing completely on designing and launching our accredited coaching programs, which, of course, I'm just closing, but you know that's been my work for 10 years. It was asking that question that did it. What's the one thing that I can do that might make everything else easier? Of course, these are my things and the things that I suggest, both about the causes and the strategies for coming out of it, but you'll have your own ideas and working with your own ideas is key because they'll be the best for you.

Speaker 1: 24:05

What's really important is holding on and believing that we can do something about overwhelm. We don't have to stay there, and even if, in this process, you realize that your overwhelm is because your job is completely unsustainable and out of control, then maybe it's time to look at whether that needs to change and whether you need to make some decisions about that. One final thought because so many people are struggling at the moment, I think as leaders, we also might want to think about how are we leading through this time. How can we have conversations to help our teams with their overwhelm? And one idea I have is about making it acceptable. So maybe starting meetings with letting people talk about the struggles only a short period, maybe a moan minute, and then bring people back to the task at hand.

Speaker 1: 24:58

But you can also do some work in the team before coming up with ideas to resolve the overwhelm. Maybe create an in-house document and get people to talk about what could be happening here to change the situation that we're in. Maybe set some team agreements. You could, for example, agree some sacred time for deep work, identify one hour in the week where there will be no emails or instant messages in the team, and even go as far as telling colleagues outside of the team that your team's Do Not Disturb is on for that hour in the week, anything that you can do to walk into this to help your team identify what they can do. Walk into this to help your team identify what they can do.

Speaker 1: 25:46

I've covered so much here and, as I said, I believe that we really can shift our feelings and experience of overwhelm and I hold so much hope for you that you can do this, that you can find rays of sunshine in these overwhelming times in these overwhelming times. Thanks for listening to the Fulfilled Leader. If this episode resonated, share it with another leader or friend and don't forget to follow the podcast so you never miss an episode. You can even rate and review. You can find more support and resources at jeanbalfourcom, or come and say hello on LinkedIn. Take care and keep leading with heart.